Those were the first words of the Bowdoinham Recreation Department's Facebook plea for volunteers to umpire girls' softball games. My fiancée, Kiera, had sent me a link to the post. I'd been hemming and hawing since moving back to Maine about wanting to play softball or coach Little League. She'd been eager to see me get out of the house more; a brilliant idea for the man who hasn't left the house for work since last March. Maybe umpiring would fit the bill.
"First things first, though," I said to myself. Recon. So, I fired off an email to the head of the Bowdoinham Rec, Lisa. I had a laundry list of questions:
- Do I need to have some kind of umpiring credentials?
- Do I need a uniform?
- Do I supply my own equipment?
- What rule book is being used?
- Are there any special league-specific rules?
- How many umpires work each game?
Once I had the answers to those questions, then, and only then, I would decide whether or not umpiring would be for me. Or so I thought. I might as well have sent an email that simply read "I'm hired! When do I start?" A little less than two hours later, Lisa had sent a reply. Despite my attempt to make only a cautious inquiry, the second line of Lisa's email set me on my path to umpirehood: "I have a rule book for 2016 to give you as well as a copy of our schedule." I was in.

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